megan

worst support website ever.  period.

don’t bother to respond, losers.  i look better than you fat than you ever will skinny.

So today was my first day of starting over again.  I ate really healthy, and although I didn’t exercise, that’s OK in my book for today.  My booty was at work at 4:30 am for 12 hours, and I PASSED OUT for a nap the second I got home.  I was hoping to get the new tennis shoes to work out in after work today, but I’m not going to beat myself up over not doing it, considering my body’s not used to getting up at 3 am.  I only have to do it 2 more days and then life should be more back to normal with a more reasonalable work schedule.

Today I ate:

-Bagel with a much smaller amount cream cheese than I’d usually slather on that bad boy!

-Pineapple

-Lean Cuisine

-Fresh Bing Cherries

-Apple

-Tuna Salad w/ corn, relish and 1 TBSP mayo

-Lite Veggie Soup

-A lot of water

There were times throughout the day when I was hungry.  But just like someone blogged earlier today, I am trying to stop thinking of this is a sign of deprivation and more a sign of “Under Construction!”

Now how do I ignore the evil voices in my head that say “You’re so hungry.  Screw this.  Eat something.”  or “Taco Bell sounds soooo good.”  or “Now that I’ve even lunch and don’t feel as full as I’m used to, I should just go to Jack in the Box for a chicken sandwich.” 

These voices are the hardest thing for me to ignore.  I really want to learn how the pros, and amateurs out there, resist the temptation.   Please, please help me!

Has anyone tried alli? I read it’s fairly safe and the biggest side effect is uncontrollable bowel movements! Yikes! Sounds embarrasing but apparently if you eat low fat it’s not an issue. I’m thinking about using it with diet and exercise. Any reviews?

It’s been quite a few months now since I have truly given up on weight loss.  I have been eating whatever I want, although I also do take measures such as portion control and eating plenty of fruit to make sure I don’t keep gaining.  I haven’t, however, stepped on the scale in a good, oh…. 3 months probably… so who knows what it says?  I think I’m about the same weight as when I started before based on how I feel and how my clothes fit. 

 But… just to slap myself into reality here real quick… I first signed up in August.  It’s been about 5 months.  Even at just 10 lbs a month…. I would be down 50 lbs by now!  That’s a lot of weight and could have been very realistic!

 I really have to give a shout out to Nancy on this site.  I don’t even think she knows I read her blogs, but my Lord that girl is motivation in a bottle to me!  The excitement!  The determination!  The RESULTS!  I want a picture of my skinny belly in skinny people jeans like she has!  

 I saw a recent picture of a really cute, skinny cheerleader I went to high school with.  She has gained a lot of weight.  I looked at her body and realized we have very similar bodies in some ways now.  She and I both have thick arms…. and their too short for their width.  I dunno, I’m probably digressing here, but I just saw her in me.  I wonder if she’s comfortable being heavy or terrified of some pictures like I am?

There’s nothing more humiliating than going to a reunion of some sort and knowing everyone is noticing how much weight you’ve gained.  I wonder if the skinny cheerleader from high school feels this way, as I very much did at my friends wedding a few months back.

I am not starting today, and I really need to step back and come up with a plan of attack on how I am going to do this right and stick to it.  And as much as I LOVE buddyslim, I need to use it in a much different way than I did before.  It became a social networking tool for me before, and that’s not OK.  This time around, I need to remember what I’m here for. 

So I guess here’s to a second go… because we don’t all succeed the first time.  And isn’t the old adage you really only fail when you quit trying?(or something like that?!) 

 Step 1: Tomorrow morning, I have a date.  With the scale.