megan

Today’s official weigh-in proved that once again, I only lost a pound.  Geez, I am OK with slowly but surely, but seriously, can we push things along a bit here???  LOL

 I admit it… I am definitely to blame when it comes to my slow weight loss!  I don’t exercise as much as I should and I eat some things that I shouldn’t.  On the plus side, I am still losing!  But I am now at 7 pounds….. 3 pounds this week would put me at a 10 pound weight loss…..

 And I want it!!!!

So seriously, as of today, I am moving out of the Slowsky’s house (have you seen those commercials with the turtles… haha…) and I am moving in to… um… ok I don’t have a good metaphor, but I’m losing three pounds this week, dammit!

It is Saturday morning at 9:30 am.  My boyfriend and I just got up from a good night’s sleep, and today I have 2 things planned: 1) We are going to the Seattle Aquarium.  2)  I have a haircut appointment at 4:00. 

 I would like to go ahead and leave here very shortly for the aquarium because I don’t want us to feel rushed at the aquarium by my haircut appointment later in the day.  I told my boyfriend this, and he did the same thing he does every time I try to plan or schedule: He gets super defensive and tell me to stop controlling him!

I am not trying to control him! It’s rare that he and I actually do something together like to go an aquarium.  I am looking forward to it, but he thinks me trying to get him out the door at an early time is me being a “control freak!”

How am I supposed to plan life if he thinks that it’s controlling?  I know that my boyfriend isn’t all too excited to go to the aquarium, and he’s going for me more than anything.  But seriously, do we have to sit around here half the day before we can go?  He’s not doing anything right now!

I am so frustrated with him right now I could scream!

I am a cry baby.  Literally.  Put on a commercial with dogs in a shelter and I’ll switch the channel to avoid welling up.  Take me to a kid’s school play or presentation and I’ll be in tears in seconds.   Do something heartless that hurts others and I’ll turn on the sprinklers in two seconds flat.

 Being a cry baby has its pluses.  I have never been accused of being cold-hearted.  I know that I care about others, and have a special spot in my heart for animals. 

 But mostly, it’s just a big fat pain in the ass.  It’s embarassing!  While others are watching “The Bucket List,” dry eyed, I am sobbing away that two old buddies are about to, um, kick the bucket.  Turn on a picture slide show with some music, and I don’t care if I know you or not, pass me the Kleenex.

This cry-baby syndrome is a huge burden at work.  Today was the third time in my 1.5 years with the company that I have had to leave work because I was crying so hard that I couldn’t stop.  It’s embarassing and I fear that it hurts my chances for promotion in the future.

I work for a large rental car company.  For this company, I work on site at a high-end dealership, renting out high-end vehicles.  (Apologize my vagueness, but I’ve heard of people getting in trouble for name-dropping companies they work for in a bad way on the Internet, and trust me…. you’ve heard of both companies.)

Working in customer service, I have gotten a thicker skin about getting yelled at by pissed off people.  I’ve actually learned to handle it pretty well… diffusing the situation, solving the problem and killing them with niceness.

Today, however, was a new situation.  It wasn’t a customer yelling at me… it was the CFO of the dealership I work at.  I had said something to a customer that displayed her company in a negative light and she didn’t like that.  Basically, without boring you to death, the dealership had promised to pay for a customer’s rental car, and when the bill didn’t get paid 3 months after the rental car had returned, it had once again become the customer’s responsibility to pay since the dealership hadn’t paid.  And while I was charging the disgruntled customer, I explained this to him.

He, in turn, he asked the dealership why they didn’t pay.  No biggie.  This has happened before with other accounts.  But this time, this evil bitch from hell decided to literally yell at me and attack me verbally because I had matter of factly told the customer why the bill was his responsbility now.  She was angry that I gave this customer the impression that her fancy shmancy dealership didn’t pay their bills.  (Even though they didn’t….)

She was so mean to me, along with a service advisor at the dealership who has been nice to me for the past 10 months and suddenly turned on me today, that… you guess it…. I cried.

The tears started and then I couldn’t stop them.

 Truth be told,  I hate working.  I think I’m too fragile for such harsh work environments.  Laugh at me if you wish, but my real wish is to be a stay at home mom.  I don’t even have kids, but this is all I want….

 I don’t know if I should quit or keep on truckin’.  My manager was wonderfully supportive of the situation… she told me to go home, and she paid me for the rest of the day.  She also went over and let that mean lady know the next time she has a problem, to speak to her, the manager. 

Why are people so mean?  And why am I so emotionally weak???

I am so excited for this week.  I have a wonderful new group on the forums called the Pink Ladies and I am looking forward to getting to know my teammates better and whooping their butts in next week’s weigh-in! ;-)  The team is one I created so I’m proud of myself for that, and it focuses on being a small group.  It is filled to capacity right now.  I wanted a small group so each member is very important and we all hold eachother more accountable that way.  There are seven of us and there are some really inspirational girls on the team that have lost a LOT of weight! 

I think my new group has given me a new kick in the pants.  I’m so motivated.  Today I am going to go grocery shopping and am so excited to get lots of fresh fruits and veggies at the new organic supermarket.  Organic fruits and veggies just taste soooo much better.

Although our group is filled to capacity, if you are interested in joining a small group, I’d encourage you to make one.  I found a lot of interest in a small group right away.  The hard part of keeping the group small will be telling potential interested people that we have no room, but the founding values of the group are keep it small! (Like our waists, hehe)  I will definitely start a waiting list and that way if anyone is interested, I can contact them if a spot becomes available.

Besides the grocery store, today I am hoping to buy a new dresser for our bedroom.  I just finished a big old clothing project and Alex and I definitely need a dresser for all our clothes!  I’ve contacted a few people on Craigslist today who have dressers for sale.

Also today, my dog Sage will be very happy because she’ll be going to a nice long walk later.  Have a great day everyone!

… and it isn’t broccoli this time.

I don’t have female friends in my life.  Honest to God, I rarely hang out with girls.  I am a loner.  Always have been for the most part.  I have a boyfriend, and I hang out with him and his friends.  I don’t trust girls.  I never have.  I have had girlfriends in the past and they have burned me in the end.  The claws always end up coming out.  So my natural defense now is to always been friendly and sociable, but never get too close and never confide in females.

 I found this website a while back.  Obviously this website has both men and women on it, but let’s be frank: it is swarming with women.  We’re insecure and more worried about our bodies than most men.  Today is an awful day for BuddySlim and I am ashamed.  This stupid drama is so childish and it reminds me of the reason why I am a loner.

 I don’t feel support from the Heartbreakers weight loss forum I’m on.  I don’t.  There, I said it.

I’m going to go to dinner now with Alex.  I’ll return later and perhaps by then this bad taste will be out of my mouth.

Why do some people’s posts stay the most recently written post all day?  I’ve noticed that a few times.  The most popular post of the day will be the post that is also listed as being most recently written.  I’ll log in a few hours later, and that same blog is still in that most recently written blog spot, even though other blogs have been written?

Today I am beginning a 1 week vegan diet.  I decided to do this after reading “Skinny Bitch.”  Has anyone else read this book?  In a nutshell… this book says if you want to be skinny, stop eating meat, stop eating dairy and start eating fruits, veggies, whole grains.  Eat as much as you want, but just stop eating crap!  The book is pretty political, going in depth about the corruption of the meat industry and animal rights, bashing the dairy industry and the FDA.  I’d definitely recommend it.  You may like what you read, you may totally disagree with it, but it will certainly stir a strong opinion. 

There was an organic grocery store that just opened up in my town.  I went there today to do my grocery shopping.  I loaded up on organic and vegan products.  It’s an expensive store, so I just got my healthy vegan foods there and I will go to our ”normal” local grocery store to get my boyfriend his non-vegan meals and snacks for the week.  I couldn’t afford the $11/lb deli meat there! Yikes!

  I will keep you all posted with blogs on how the vegan experiment goes. 

Hey ladies I’ve had something on my mind that’s been bothering me a lot and I’m not quite sure what to do.  My good friend from college who I’ve known for about 7 years got married a few weeks back.  As a bit of background, she was what I would consider my best friend in college.  We lived together one year and hung out constantly.  I was there for her and she was there for me through thick and thin.  We often referred to eachother as best friends.

Here’s what has me bothered: She didn’t invite me to be in her wedding!  She had, as her Maid of Honor, a mutual friend of ours who we both hung out with often in college.  I know she was close with this girl who was her MOH, but I couldn’t help but feel a bit sad that she didn’t ask me to.  To top it all off, she didn’t even ask me to be a bridesmaid.  And she had one girl as a bridesmaid who was a pretty casual friend throughout college!  If I were to get married, she would be one of the first people I think of to be in my wedding, quite possibly as the MOH.

Now I know we’ve grown apart a bit since college since I moved out to Seattle and she lives outside Chicago.  However, I was even one of the “matchmakers” for her meeting her now husband, and without knowing me, they never would have met.  We’ve also talked on the phone fairly regularly and visited eachother a few times (flying back and forth) since college ended 3 years ago.  So we’ve definitely still been involved in eachother’s lives.

At first I wasn’t too bothered by the fact that I wasn’t in the wedding, but once I was there and saw who the bridesmaids were (by the way, I flew to Iowa for the wedding) and who the MOH was, my feelings were really hurt.  I feel like she doesn’t consider me as good of a friend as I consider her.  I even got really jealous when the MOH read her speech and talked about when Emily, the bride, asked her to be the MOH.

I had fun at the wedding and of course didn’t want to be a little shit that got dramatic about this on someone’s special day, so I didn’t mention anything to anyone.  But now that it’s over, I’m still upset.  My friend called me the other day, but I haven’t returned her call because I don’t know what to say.  My feelings are hurt and I feel like I got the shaft.  Should I mention it?  Should I say anything?  Or should I just drop it and try to get over it?